The partnership in the relationship can either be through marriage or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Usually, the serial monogamist is aware of the pattern that he or she follows. Each relationship may be entered into with a how long will this one last? frame of mind.
The serial monogamist is usually fully aware of his or her inability to fully commit to another. This does not mean that serial monogamists do not try to commit, but it seems that commitment is not something they feel comfortable with. Compared to serial monogamy, true monogamy is a state in which one person stays with another for his or her entire life.
In the western world, true monogamy is becoming less and less common. In today's society, more marriages than ever split up within three years. Serial monogamists can stay with partners for that length of time or even longer. It is a source of frustration to some serial monogamists that they have been labeled with this title. The serial monogamist's relationships can last longer than some marriages.
Fear of commitment and perfectionism play a large part in the serial monogamist's thinking. Childhood influences also a play a large part. Bad role models from parents give serial monogamists an inherent fear of commitment. They are unable to cope with the pressure of the family unit for long periods of time and eventually seek their independence once again. If the partnership begins to show problems similar to those witnessed in childhood, then it will no longer mirror the ideal the serial monogamist has in his or her head.
Many people think that they can be the one to change the serial monogamist's way of thinking. This is sometimes a futile effort. The pattern of serial monogamy is often so established that the serial monogamist can predict the month or year that the break up will occur. No one seeks to end a relationship willingly if there are no problems. For some serial monogamists, the fear of commitment is beyond their control.
Some people hold that serial monogamy is a psychological problem. They believe that the only way to deal with the serial monogamist's state of mind is through psychological help. Other people think that the term serial monogamist is a cop-out. It can be used as a way for people to give weight to their incapability of sustaining a relationship. Whether it is a psychological problem or not, serial monogamy is usually not a state of mind most people are happy to live with forever.
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